Happy Bobby Petrino Day, Hog Fans!

Four years ago today, Bobby Petrino pulled off the cruelest April Fools Day joke that turned out to be real. His motorcycle accident that revealed his affair and other misdeeds went down in history, making April 1 in Arkansas officially known as Bobby Petrino Remembrance Day.

Let me ask you this. Who would have thought that Bobby Petrino, a man called a “coward” and “gutless bastard” by former Atlanta Falcons staff members and players, would also be a complete scumbag?

It turns out that those descriptions were all too true. Bobby Petrino, lover of young women and teams with red, is still the menace of society when it comes to Arkansans like myself. So any chance to ridicule him sooths my soul. Luckily, there’s always one day a year where I can.

That’s right

, April 1 is not only a year for cruel pranks and shenanigans. It’s a day where we celebrate the death of the Bobby Petrino era. An era where Arkansas went to three straight bowl games and two straight 10+ win seasons. But it was also an era, a potential epic dynasty, that ended with a single, disgusting love affair that I thought only happened on television programs.

On April 1, 2012, news reported that Head Coach Bobby Petrino crashed his motorcycle (alone) outside of Fayetteville at around 6:45 P.M. This was the last time Arkansas fans felt bad for Bobby Petrino. Because just a few days later, details emerged that Petrino was not in fact alone on the bike, but that he was with newly hired Student-Athlete Development Coordinator Jessica Dorrell.

Following the reports of Dorrell being on the bike, the country began putting two and two together. Petrino and Dorrell had been in a secret relationship for a year, and Dorrell sure got her money’s worth out of it. While investigating, it was noted that Petrino gave his lover $20,000 , which she later used to buy a new car. Even worse, Petrino had hired her to work in the department, which was clearly a big fat no-no.

I mean, we didn’t even give the relationship a chance. Think of all the cool nicknames we could have had. Bobbica? Jessiby? Bobessica Dopetrino? While the dissemination of their relationship ultimately ended it, we still know in our hearts that their love is still strong. I mean, we didn’t even give the relationship a chance.

Petrino’s firing was the beginning of the Arkansas Razorback Football downfall. The sudden departure led to the hiring of John L. Smiles, and we all know how well that went (SPOILER ALERT: I still don’t smile).

But now on April 1, 2016 we celebrate everything that happened four years ago. I know that’s an awkward thing to do, but it needs to be done. Why? Because we are thankful. We are thankful that got rid of our cowardly, gutless bastard. Bobby Petrino didn’t just cheat on his wife or his family, he cheated on the Hog nation.

So we celebrate the day that Petrino’s true colors were shown, and praise the fact that he now permanently wears an “L” on his forehead (Thanks, Louisville caps).

And so we can make fun of his neck brace again.

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I hope Bobby Petrino Day treats you kindly. How are you celebrating? I would recommend not watching highlights from the 2010 and 2011 seasons, those can make you tear up a little bit. However, I would recommend going around the streets and yelling the F bomb at whoever you feel necessary. There’s nothing that honors Petrino’s legacy more than public obscenity.

Woo Pig and don’t crash.