Houston Nutt Accepts Head Coach Position with the Arkansas Attack in Little Rock


The Right Reverend Houston Nutt has officially accepted the head coaching position with the Major League Football team, the Arkansas Attack. Rumors are swirling that Nutt will be bringing a lot more familiar faces to Little Rock on his staff, and possibly even in the draft.

Remember a few months ago when we reported that Arkansas was getting a professional football team? Well, what’s a team without a coach? MLF officials have announced the hiring of former Arkansas and Ole Miss head coach Houston Nutt as the new coach of the Little Rock based franchise.

Nutt is currently under contract with CBS, but the MLF has recently announced that they won’t be having a season in 2016, but are currently gunning for a spring 2017 schedule. That will give Houston a chance to fulfill his obligations to CBS, while also assembling a great staff for his new tenure as a head coach.

Rumors are flying that Nutt has already been reaching out to former colleagues and coaches to come on board as a part of his staff. Earlier this week, Jon Gruden was spotted wearing an almond colored tie, which has lead the internet to believe that he will be joining Nutt in Arkansas. (Get it? Nutt…Almond…)

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“Ol Jonny’s got a great fire to him. His playcalling makes me chuckle. Everything has all these crazy names like “Spider 2 Y Banana” and “Quick Slant.” Said Houston Nutt to the media at his press conference. “Why you need that many different names for a third and long draw, I’ll never know.” 

Nutt is also expected to bring back Reggie Herring, his former defensive coordinator and current linebackers coach for the Denver Broncos. Arkansas fans should remember Herring, as he took over for the Razorbacks after Houston Nutt was


resigned and coached the Hogs to a 38-7 loss in the Cotton Bowl to Missouri.

Reggie has had a lot of success in the NFL. I think it’s time for him to get another shot as a coordinator.” Nutt said while addressing the media. “And since it’s a pro job, he doesn’t have to worry about pesky things like “recruiting“.

Finally, Nutt is expected to bring former NFL coach and Razorback great Jimmy Johnson on as the quality control coach for the program. Johnson’s successful track record was too much to turn down for Reverend Nutt.

You know, when you look at the type of programs that Jimmy has ran before, they just pop with quality.” Nutt said of the former Dallas Cowboys and Miami Hurricanes coach. “The pops are almost indistinguishable from gunshots, which is nice because it lets you know that Jimmy Johnson has got it covered upI MEAN under control.”

More razorbacks: New Coaches Bring New Styles to Arkansas

Of course, none of this is official as of yet. Mostly because this is an April fools article. Don’t get me wrong, I’d love to see Houston Nutt on the sidelines for the Arkansas Attack. But there’s no way he’s their first choice.

Not with Nick Saban reportedly interested in the position.