Arkansas Football Off-Season Survival Guide
By Blake Smith
Blake Smith is here with your survivalist guide to these darkest months of year…when Arkansas football is the furthest away it can possibly be.
The college football season officially wrapped up this week, and the Crimson Tide took home another title. Also, thanks to a very persistent Desahun Watson who just HAD to get that last touchdown to cover the backdoor with 12 seconds left, Vegas took home a whole bunch of money. Vegas always knows. Anyway, degenerate gambler rants aside, we’re now a lifetime away from the next Razorback/college football kickoff. So, I’m here to help you through it, with an off-season survival guide.
Things you can watch:
NFL Playoffs, this maybe something of a no-brainer. The lone bright spot in this cold heartless college football-less winter is there’s still another month of NFL football. There’s also the Pro Bowl if you’re into watching NFL guys play flag football. I feel like they should scrap the game itself, and just do random events/challenges. A few examples for you, Linemen 7-on-7 football games ,(my personal favorite, take the idea NFL executive reading this! I only ask for lifetime tickets in return.) Tight End mini golf tourney (Big people, tiny golf clubs. It would be hilarious.), Running Back “American Ninja” style obstacle course, Quarterbacks throwing footballs at skeet targets and distance contest, and Wide Receiver/Defensive Back 3-on-3 basketball. I think this would get the biggest ratings the pro bowl has ever seen.
Razorback Basketball, our editor-in-chief, Cory Thone, did a pretty good job making this argument, which you can read about by clicking here. Spoiler alert though, you SHOULD BE WATCHING. Arkansas is actually getting better as the year goes on, and is punching above its weight class.
Razorback Baseball, if you like to watch Arkansas win things, this will be your best bet. Arkansas baseball has been among the best in the country the past few years, and opening day is in about a month. Which is conveniently the week after the Super Bowl! The Diamond Hogs, who have been ranked in the preseason top 25, and take on Central Michigan on Friday, February 19th at Baum Stadium.
Things you can do:
Read Razorbackers articles. YES! We do cover other things other than football! We’ll be following the Hoop Hogs and Diamond Hogs throughout the season. We also have other big things happening in the works if various staff writer’s technology holds up. Our troubleshooting mainly involves yelling four letter words and duct tape. So be sure to check back often, and even just reread old articles because they’re all just so good!
Tell Alabama fans they’re welcome. Sure, Alabama won the title game and even beat the Hogs in the regular season. However, if not for the Hogs and the “Henry Heave” they’d more than likely be on the outside looking in. Sure, they could use wins, titles and what not against you, but you know what? They would be nothing without Arkansas…NOTHING.
Practice your Hog Call. Now there’s really no “off-season” for a Hog call. However, you should still practice it for those upcoming kickoff’s as they are a guaranteed extra 5-10 yards on the kickoff. You should really hit the gym and hit those shoulder exercises to really get that arm raise some “umph.”Also, it’s important to do a couple of stress ball squeezes to strengthen the fingers, for maximum finger wigglin’. This is also a PSA, and a bit nit picky but, it’s “WOOOO” not “AWOOO”….we are Hogs, not werewolves.
Spend way to much time thinking about the QB battle. Given that pretty much everyone will do this anyway, it’s a survival guide so you have to include the fundamentals. This will be very closely watched through the off-season, as Arkansas football has the good problem of having a ton of talent. Allen 2.0, Storey, Town and Peavey will be fighting for the starting spot. All full of potential and having 2 years under Dan Enos, who had a big hand in turning around Brandon Allen’s career.
Things you should NOT do:
Lighting a quarterback’s truck on fire because he’s not the one you wanted. Arkansas’s fan base is nothing if not passionate. You have to trust Coach B and Enos on who they name the starter. They’re not going to play favorites, they’re going to play who gives the team the best chance of winning. Also, arson is somewhat frowned upon by the authorities.
Tweet recruits weird/threatening things, due to the boom of social media, recruits and fan bases have never been more interconnected. HOWEVER, a problem among all fan bases, is that fans sometimes aren’t sure where to draw the line. If 5-star McAllAmerican tweets out to hear from a fan base or something. Great, send a wps or Go Hogs or what have you. (Editor’s note: I don’t support this. #StopTweetingAtRecruits2K16) However, If they say they had a hamburger for lunch that was pretty okay. Do NOT bombard them with tweets or DM’s at every turn, because it’s weird and creepy to be tweeting at 17/18-year-old kids all day. MOST IMPORTANTLY if McAllAmerican decides to go somewhere else, even LSU or Ole Miss….DO NOT SEND THEM TWEETS SAYING YOU HATE THEM OR THE 23 PAGE DISSERTATION ON HOW THEY SUCK WHICH INCLUDES A PIE #POUNDCAKE CHART AND POWER POINT PRESENTATION. It makes you look bad, it makes our fan base and state look insane. Remember, friends don’t let friends tweet recruits.
More from Razorbackers
- Nike’s latest Arkansas Razorbacks shoes are a must-have
- Believe it or not, Arkansas football has never played these FBS teams
- Arkansas vs UConn Prediction and $1,000 BetMGM Promo
- Arkansas vs. UConn, NCAA Tournament Sweet 16: How to watch, odds, predictions
- When was the last time Arkansas won the NCAA Tournament? (Odds to win March Madness)
Don’t worry folks, follow this survival guide and we’ll make through this dark, dark time known as the “off-season.” We’ll be back in Donald W. Reynolds Razorback Stadium calling those Hogs in no time!
Woo Pig.