Take A Shot With Jose: Bold Predictions For Auburn Game
By Jose Harber
This is the first of many shots with me, your host, Jose, and I hope you’re ready for my bold predictions. Will they be accurate? Probably not. But the more shots you have with me, the less you’ll care.
Are you ready? Are you sitting down? Crackers and water nearby? Good, let’s go.
ARKANSAS WILL BEAT AUBURN BY 28
Yep, 28. Arkansas is a 5.5 point favorite right now but I believe Bielema and crew will come out swinging and never let up. We all know the history with Gus Malzahn and Arkansas and we also know Bielema really doesn’t like Auburn. He was quoted before the season saying, “Probably doesn’t need to be said in here how much I hate Auburn.”, so we know he’s out for blood…or at least bragging rights. Bielema isn’t one to shy away from running up the score either. Remember way back to 2010, when he was with Wisconsin, he put up 83 and 70 on Indiana and Northwestern,
“Probably doesn’t need to be said in here how much I hate Auburn.” – Bret Bielema
respectively, and he didn’t even hate them.
It also helps that Auburn is a dumpster fire this year, which warms my soul. Look for the Hogs to run away and beat the Tigers by four touchdowns or more.
EIGHT AUBURN PLAYERS WILL FAKE INJURIES
We know how Gus operates, we’ve seen it before, but since him and his Tigers will be getting stomped (see above) he will stop at nothing to try and gain some advantage, no matter how feeble it is. I believe two or more Auburn players per quarter will collapse, in what seems to be extreme agony, delaying the game and giving Malzahn a couple extra minutes to plan his funeral. At least those other Alabama cheats try to hide what they’re doing through sideline microphone holders, but Auburn and Gus have no shame in doing it in plain sight.
DREW MORGAN GOES FOR 200 RECEIVING
Sep 26, 2015; Arlington, TX, USA; Arkansas Razorbacks receiver Drew Morgan (80) runs after a reception against the Texas A&M Aggies at AT&T Stadium. Mandatory Credit: Matthew Emmons-USA TODAY Sports
If you’re from Greenwood, or an opposing team that had to play Greenwood, then you know the emergence of Drew Morgan isn’t surprising. He routinely destroyed secondaries as a Bulldog and is now finally showing everyone else what he can do. Thanks to the decimation of the Arkansas receiving core and two years of field experience, Morgan has become the clear cut number one wide-out. Since Arkansas will be having their way with Auburn, Morgan will explode for 200 yards receiving and a couple of scores. He has always reminded me of a Julian Edelmen or Wes Welker type. He doesn’t have the 6’4″ frame or 4.3 speed but he has sure hands, he is quick, and he always gives 100 percent.
BRET BIELEMA GETS IN A FIST FIGHT
Admittedly this one is most likely not going to happen, but this is called bold predictions. With that said, at some point Bielema will get fed up with Malzahn and his fainting players and will march across field straight at him. My guess is the middle of the third quarter, so be sure to set this one to record, you will not want to miss it. Although, it won’t be much of a contest because lets face it, Beliema has eaten bigger things than Gus. Might as well mark that down for two W’s on Saturday.
AUBURN WILL BE THE START OF SIX STRAIGHT WINS
That’s right, that means that Arkansas will go undefeated the rest of the season. I know this is sort of a bold prediction for the year but it has to start somewhere and that somewhere is the pummeling of Auburn. This is exactly what the Hogs need, a good statement win against a team and coach they hate. Sometimes all a team needs is a spark, a gigantic spark, to get things rolling the way they should. It won’t be easy to go undefeated but with each win the Hogs will gain more and more confidence, and with four of those six games being at home the chances look good. Ole Miss is falling apart and the Hogs always compete with LSU. So go ahead, thank Auburn now for the best second half of a season in Arkansas history.
Credit: Jerome Miron-USA TODAY Sports
I hope all of you enjoyed my shots and stayed responsible. I’m not liable for any inebriated phone calls to your ex but I am responsible for blowing your minds with my bold predictions. Tune in next time for a shot with Jose as I will bring you the bold predictions for UT-Martin which I’m sure will be a knee-slapper of a game.