Razor’s Reverie: The Arkansas Razorbacks Win the Rumble on Rocky Top
There comes a time in every team’s season, where they must decide what kind of team they are. Are they content with being the perennial doormat of their conference? Or, do they rise up, and chose to overcome the diversity that has plagued them for far too long, thereby changing their fortunes, by winning what could possibly have been the most important game of this early season? This was the crossroads the Arkansas Razorbacks found themselves at on Saturday night, in Knoxville, Tennessee — in front of 101,ooo raucous fans — while the smoky mountain rain fell on the field in Neyland Stadium.
So how did Arkansas rise up and win the Rumble on Rocky Top? WHO CARES, WE WON!
No but really, Arkansas put the feedbags on Alex Collins (154 yards) and Rawleigh Williams III (100 yards) and rode their capable shoulders to the win. Oh, and let’s not forget the emerging superstar that is Drew Morgan. Men want to be him and women want to be with him because this kid can straight up ball. Seriously though, BERT needs to get a few strands of Drew’s hair and keep them for cloning purposes later, when he leaves the program…which won’t be for another year because the wunderkind is just a Junior.
Despite the win, there were still a few hiccups that must be addressed by BERT and company, if we want to have even the remotest of chances at Alabama this coming Saturday. Firstly, what the heck is up with our inept special teams? We don’t seem to have a kicker on the team that can put the ball in the end zone on kickoffs, and apparently Berticous himself has zero confidence in the kicking game, because he telegraphed that flaming hot ball of poo, that was the fake field goal failure.
Also, another glaring skid mark on the special teams unit, is the fact that opposing teams are to be able to return kickoffs and punts against us, seemingly as if our team was made of papier–mâché (IM SO FANCY). And, let me tell you, if you think Nick Saban and Alabama isn’t already looking at that obvious weakness on this team, then you my friend are deliriously wrong.
Also, there is the weirdly-possible growing schism between Dan Enos and Brandon Allen, which by the way, resulted in BA bumpin’ his gums at his new OC, after Enos called one heck of a head scratcher. With Arkansas in a 2nd and Goal situation, Arkansas lined-up in a Wildcat — or what we here in the Natural State call the Wild Hog — which caused all sorts of confusion and resulted in an Arkansas Razorback timeout. I honestly haven’t seen that level of incompetence since the Houston Dale Nutt era. You remember…up the middle, up the middle, up the middle, PUNT! And that’s a Coach Nutt guarantee!
BUT WE WON! So now we get like half a day — if BERT is smart about it — to celebrate our first SEC road win since John L. Smith beat Auburn in 201…AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Sorry, I just can’t get through that sentence without losing my composure. Anyway, this is Bret Bielema’s first win, and I’m sure he’s celebrating appropriately.
But now it’s time to prepare for Bama hate week, because we haven’t beaten the Tide since Hooty Dale was pacing the sidelines like a rabid possum looking for someone to bite. Let that sink in for a moment, the Arkansas Razorbacks haven’t beaten the Alabama Crimson Tide since 2006. Houston Nutt was our coach and Mike Shula was theirs. The game went to overtime and was a 24-23 win for the Hogs. Mitch Mustain threw the game winner…and we all know how that turned out. In recent history — the last three years — Arkansas has been outscored 118 to 13. Yes, you read that correctly.
Now, we travel to Tuscaloosa with roughly 234, 567, 983 injured starters, but if Arkansas can contain Alabama’s run game (Derek Henry is a freaking beast), the Hogs can hang around. It’s important to note that Bama’s QB situation is tenuous at best, and can absolutely be exploited. Arkansas also has the largest offensives line in all of football…NOT JUST COLLEGE BUT ALL OF FOOTBALL I’M NOT SURE IF YOU’VE PREVIOUSLY HEARD OF THIS. If they can establish Brandon Allen’s confidence, while possibly getting some push for Alex Collins and RWIII (because Bama will stack the box against our run), then we may just have a chance in this game. LOL WHO AM I KIDDING WE ARE TOTALLY GOING TO GET KILLED!
Next: Arkansas Razorbacks vs Tennessee Volunteers: Final Score, Highlights, and More